For the last three and a half years I’ve been in apart of a cult. I’ve always been religious, I was raised catholic and attended church for school and during holidays. During my teenage years I was drawn heavily to Buddhism. I was lucky enough to find a temple that wasn’t that far from me and I started volunteering there as often as I could. I cooked, I cleaned, I meditated for hours it was peaceful and accepting. I decided to leave Buddhism after the rise of the far-right in 2016-2017 when I also decided to start taking activism seriously. From 2018-2022 I Identified loosely as pagan, but I longed for religious structure, community and routine. Then i found out about Chaos Magick a system that one can follow that utilizes beliefs or practices from different religions and a “whatever works best for you” mindset. Chaos Magick in itself isn’t bad, and I’m not here to tell you how evil this cult was, I’m just here to share my experiences. I’m not going to name the cult that I was apart of not because I fear retaliation but because I don’t want people to get drawn into them like I did, they make that easy to do. Around August 2023 I first heard about chaos magick and it peaked my interest immediately. I quickly read the entire Wikipedia page on it and the historical context of it all. Aleister Crowley, Austin Osman Spare, Sigil magick, Banishment Rituals, Thelema, it was all very structured and appleling to me, like a world I’ve never heard of had opened and all I had to do was learn. I had found a belief system that I enjoyed and it aligned with my politics of anarchy and autonomy almost perfectly the only problem was I didn’t have a community. I finally heard about a group who had created their own modern belief system within chaos magick, their own gods and deities each having their own ritualistic summoning and purpose. I was hesitant but I eventually joined because I was isolated and I longed for community and connection. The group I’ll call them [Redacted] was a loosely defined Chaos Magick internet cult that spawned around 2007 or 2008 on early internet message boards about the occult. I read their manifesto that was riddled with cryptic messages as all their text is, and I was sucked into a “Assault on Reality” as they called it. I became infatuated with learning everything I could from understanding their sigils, to how to perform a banishment ritual, to summoning specific god forms. In the weeks that followed my arrival I fell into what i can only describe as a weeks long spiritual psychosis in which I was, or at least felt like I was, detached from reality. I spent the days interacting with other online cult members and nights reading texts and performing rituals and reporting my results. It had structure, routine and a social community to compare notes with or just talk about life. They had a open door policy where you can basically come and go as you please but they made it easy and intriguing to get sucked into the group and easier to stay. I was never pressured into doing anything and i never met another member in real life but that almost didn’t matter, and in some ways it made it worse. I know a lot of groups in the magick and spiritual circles had beef with the group but i never involved myself or investigated, it seemed interpersonal or drama from a decade ago. One thing about the alternative magick community is that there are nazis. I was thankful that [Redacted] had a very hard policy on racism, fascism and hate speech in general, they vetted almost everyone and were constantly kicking and banning people. Those who were higher up in the hierarchy give new people or almost anyone a cold shoulder if they don’t know you which makes sense in a chat of 600 random people, you had to earn social credit to move up. As of February 2026 I’ve left [Redacted], I left without warning or goodbye. I felt like I needed to move on and it had wasted at least some of my time and wasn’t affecting me positively. If you are close to me and are spiritual I’ve probably tried to get you interested in [Redacted] in the past few years and I apologize I’m glad no one actually took the bait besides me. At their best they are a group of internet anarchist dropping 20 grams of shrooms and meditating a lot. There was nothing left for me there and unless you wish to waste your time as well I advise keeping away. I won’t say I’ve closed myself off spiritually but I will be taking a long break.

These were originally written and published to Its Going Down(June 16 2025 and July 22 2025) i’ve archived them here due to that site shutting down.

First Report:

On May 1st, commonly referred to as May Day, thousands of protests where planned across the US, ranging from DC to Alaska, and hundreds of thousands of people took to the streets. Local organizers held marches in Baltimore which saw over a thousand people demonstration and one in Frederick which gathered a smaller crowd of about two hundred. Both events went off without a hitch, until later in the evening a crowd of protesters were attacked by police, four of whom were beaten, falsely arrested, and then doxxed Frederick Police department on Facebook, which was picked up by Fox News and then again by neo-fascist trolls on social media. That night after an evening of protests and marches in Frederick, a smaller group formed to continue the protest and they took to the streets. While they marched, multiple cars passed, some voicing support while other drivers attempted to injure them, with one driver striking one of the protestors. Thankfully no one was injured to the point of needing medical attention. The group eventually came to several SUVs both city and sheriff, parked in the middle of the road. parked in the middle of the road. Two or three cops exited each of the parked cars and blocked the small crowd from moving between them, before anyone could even think of potentially leaving the area, a fire truck with a police escort appeared. The Frederick Police began shouting to move out of the way for the fire engine, screaming, “Get out of the street.”

The police then attacked the protestors from behind as they were exiting the street where they started. The Frederick Police allege that the fire truck was responding to the report of an injured protestor from a vehicle attack, though due to the aggressive nature of the firefighters, we believe they were not there to administer aid; regardless, the police utilized the fire engine as a distraction to attack the crowd. The four people arrested, now known locally as ‘The Frederick Four,’ sustained multiple injuries including a concussion, lumbar fracture, cervical strain and a chipped tooth. Those injured were not treated for any of these injuries while they were held for 12 hours. Frederick police have a reputation for instigating assaults and are known to be especially violent towards protesters who they would deem “criminals” or “antifa,” for simply wearing black and marching together. They have made it clear which protests are allowed in Frederick and which will be attacked and doxxed. Since these events occurred, the Frederick After Party Care team has been rallying support for the four comrades arrested by gathering funds for legal fees and physical therapy via social media and posting fliers at community events. There is currently a court date set for July 3rd (subject to change) which will be followed by a block party at a near by park. The Frederick police need to be held accountable for their actions and for attacking people who are exercising their right to protest. Support the Frederick Four!

Second Report:

After two months of fundraising and general outreach by the Frederick After Party Care team, the time had come for the Frederick Four to make their first court appearance. The court hearing was set for July 3rd at 8:30am and supporters began to gather out front of Frederick Social around 7:30. Supporters wore black and passed around red flowers on hair clips and pins to add to their outfits. By 7:50, around fifty people slowly entered the Frederick courthouse. Once everyone was through security, they started to ascend to the building’s third floor.

When everyone was finally gathered outside of the courtroom and the last latecomers arrived, the crowd numbered about 65 people strong. It was hard to miss the amount of Frederick Police that also inhabited the semi-crowded space as they brushed by supporters. Someone told me they overheard a conversation between two cops mumbling, “This is our space…,” seemingly disapproving of the mass show of support.

The crowd waited now past 8:30, as people and police shuffled in and out of the courtroom. I had to turn my phone off before entering, but if I had to guess, everyone was allowed to enter at around 9am. Some were seated in the very limited bench seats, while the rest lined the perimeter of the room. The presiding Judge was Judge Dino E. Flores, who didn’t seem moved by the packing, from what I could tell. Those who were visibly affected by the group were the Frederick police, who stood at the sides and the entrance of the room, as if anticipating some sort of outburst or protest. This, however, never happened, as the purpose of packing the court is to show support for the Frederick Four. That support was overwhelmingly clear. When court finally started, each defendant was called up with their lawyer, and each time the prosecutor just copied and pasted her words, which were that “13.8 gigabytes of drone footage” was sent to the defendants that morning and it was yet to be reviewed.

After that back-and-forth, the judge would postpone each case until the defense had a chance to view this evidence. Everyone is eagerly awaiting a new court date now. It’s important to note that one of the Frederick Four had to reschedule their court date due to their lawyer being out of the country and that new date is August 5th at Frederick courthouse at 8am.

Despite only being in the court room for about 10 minutes, the large community response seemed effective and was a great way to show support. When court let out everyone gathered at Mullinix Park for a community cook out which was attended by supporters and park-goers. The Frederick After Party Care team has an update on their fundraising site thanking everyone and emphasizing that this is just the beginning and how invaluable the community support continues to be.

Congratulations if you are reading this you have lived to see the first assassination of a major right-wing US political figure in recent history. Yesterday the co founder of Turning Point USA, Charlie Kirk was shot during a speech in Utah in front of a crowd of hundreds of people in broad daylight. At the time of writing this the shooter has not been arrested, yet almost everyone including the president has labeled the shooter apart of “the radical left” i fear whether this is true or not the speculation is enough to have deadly consequences. Bread and Roses Law Center (breadandroseslaw.org/) a legal non profit has already canceled events citing they have been targeted by TPUSA members in the past. I’ve seen several conspiracies about how this is a “false flag” or in some cases people believe that it was a elaborate prank by Kirk himself i don’t think either of these are true. i think one of the 390 million gun owning americans decided that they disliked Kirk enough to do something about it. This mentality of hatred towards Kirk which is common amongst everyone i talk to but yet non-existent with older conservatives is a clear divide between people. With quotes like “I’m sorry, if I see a Black pilot, I’m going to be like, boy, I hope he’s qualified.” and “White, college indoctrinated women will ruin America if we let them.” i don’t see why anyone would agree with him. Does this warrant him being shot? no, absolutely not but to quote now fired MSNBC reporter Matthew Dowd “hateful words lead to hateful actions”. I think this action of violence is directly linked to Kirk and how he gained success over the past 15 years and i think we will be feeling the effects of his death for years to come. This will no doubt spark more violence from those in power and those who wish to seek revenge.

Stay safe and hold on.

-Sylo

Is Any Of This Worth It?

Is any if this worth it? I keep asking myself this. Is waking up before the sun rises to go to a job where you get paid pennies in comparison to what the company makes daily worth it? Is it worth it that your boss gets to sit in his office while you lift fifty plus pounds of the latest mass produced item worth it? Is it worth your sanity? Your time? Your health? Your life? Your job is a prison, your boss is the warden, he decides when you have time for yourself, he decides when you eat, he determines your sleep schedule, you have to ask to use the restroom or for a day off. “Most people hate their jobs” then why do they do them? Because we are trapped, trapped in a system that profits and only goal is to profit no matter the cost you are another number on another spreadsheet. Is living paycheck to paycheck sacrificing half of your life really worth it or are we doing it because everyone else is? Would it be easier to live in the woods? It wouldn’t be, But you would be more free than you are now, your “job” would be surviving, finding food and shelter as does every living thing on earth besides humans. This December has brought winter winds and also a collective awakening of class consciousness for some it has been this way forever for others, welcome, knowing is half the battle and the battle is never over. While I’m here I have to say that things are becoming extremely bleak, this year especially, the so called United States continues to uphold and participate in genocide on a national level with impunity while songs of holiday joy play on every radio station while bombs are being launched at civilians thousands of miles away. its feels like absolute insanity to live in this world we have created were violence is never the correct way to handle any situation yet we participate in a violent system every waking day. When you are asked the trolley problem you never suspect that your really tied to the tracks, you aren’t pulling the lever or driving the trolley you are tied to the tracks with everyone else.

The land of the free is dead.

The American dream is dead.

Live your life how you want to, not how they want you to.

Everything for everyone.

-Sylo

Once again we find ourselves locked in a historical choice of which “group” will run the majority of the country for the next four years, with our perfect system the electoral college that we have replicated over and over for 200 years. I can’t help but feel that something has been growing, a distrust or unsatisfactory with this system and potentially all systems at play that has risen, yet the wheel continues because we are scared to change the tire, so scared that a new thing will be so much worse than the current thing that we continue to suffer and stay indifferent. What extremes will the next regime go to to out compete the current one? will i lose my house? will i be able to afford food? will my friends and love ones be attacked in the streets? these are all questions i ask in a election year. Our death cult of the united states has been especially violent this year funding both a war in Ukraine one of the largest genocides of our life time in Palestine of which the death toll has risen to unsustainable numbers so much so that the zines i print from last october, just one year ago are now inaccurate. Here in america we live in constant irony in both dystopia and utopia perhaps we need a new word for our situation, we have illusions of power over our lives and control over politicians through our little check boxes in some booth in a school or other large building, it’s all an illusion of power its like your dead end job or your degree you are working on getting that will put you in so much inescapable debt that you will have for the rest of you life. How did we get here? how did everything about our lives be decide for us by people who aren’t us? what do you have incommon with the person you are voting for because personally i don’t and have never related to any politician. For the last decade and a half all i’ve really know is pseudo political violence these past four years have been calmer due to burn out, liberal complacency, and many trump supporters and proud boys being in jail or facing legal action. The future is unclear as always and only time will tell if we return to the street violence of 2020 or burn the whole thing to the ground all we can do is survive and help those around us and maybe do something cool in between, as i’ve said before just existing is resistance everything you do after that is action.

-Sylo